In life, just like in meditation, it can be easy to get in your own way by putting forth too much effort, and there are many cases where you end up being your own obstacle.
In those situations, the more you try to push and the more you ruminate, the more of a barrier you inadvertently put up and the more trouble you cause for yourself.
For so many of us, due to our misdirected efforts — and of course, for many other reasons as well — we often are our own worst enemies.
As such, when walking your happier, more fulfilling life journey, an important piece of the puzzle is learning to get out of your own way.
Getting out of your own way by not trying so hard
Amplified results through less effort
This is a great story on the importance of not trying so hard and on how decreasing effort amplifies the results.
In other words, how it’s beneficial and important to get out of your own way.
Since one of the goals of BigSkyRise is to help make each of us, and life, in some way better, it’s important to understand what being better really means. (In a sense, it’s really about uncovering who you already are, and what is already there as opposed to becoming something you aren’t.)
As part of that, it’s good to know why you don’t need to try so hard to be better.
Hey, you’re already awesome, just get out of your own way
Continuing along the same line of stop trying and just be, this talk on getting out of your own way is very helpful in a number of respects — plus it provides some helpful information for anyone who is trying to quit smoking.
Among the important points, and in addition to reminding you that you are already awesome, it shows the difference between when you are simply being and when you are getting in your own way by thinking and trying.
Additionally, there is a great moment in the video that may make a big difference in your meditation practice. It’s simple, it’s quick, and it’s illustrates an excellent point.
Getting out of your own way by getting off social media and getting connected
In a previous curated post, I mentioned getting off social media, so it expanding on that a bit now seems worthwhile.
While ultimately, anything associated with technology is simply a tool — and the way we use any tool is what makes the difference between it being harmful or helpful — for the most part, social media is isolating us, making us more lonely, and more unhappy, not the other way around.
While humans around the world are more connected than ever before, we’re also growing more disconnected from each other in the ways that really matter.
Deep meaningful connections have been replaced by superficial and easily discarded ones, leaving many quite lonely, even when they aren’t alone.
Facebook is making people lonely
This article on The Atlantic, titled Is Facebook making us lonely, shares some meaningful exploration on this topic.
An interesting bit about the article is that it came out the same year Facebook did its IPO, and the factors discussed in the piece have only grown stronger and more prevalent as Facebook has grown and new apps and platforms have come out.
Facebook also makes people unhappy
Along with making people lonely, according to another study, Facebook apparently is making people unhappy as well.
The good news is that, you can turn your frown upside down with as little as one week without Facebook.
Big risks for daily social media users
On top of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc making people lonely and unhappy, daily social media use also carries some significant psychological concerns worth knowing — and knowing is half the battle.
Adding to the points outlined in the pieces above, social media carries some other disturbing components, particularly in relation to its addictive nature.
Explaining why we’re addicted to texts, Twitter and social media, this piece covers some of the brain chemistry at work.
Beyond the brain chemistry, you may also want to know that the addicting nature of these platforms isn’t an accidental by product.
It’s no accident
Quite the opposite in fact, since the designers and creators of these platforms carefully craft them to be as addicting as possible by taking advantage of numerous psychological triggers and mental, emotional, and social factors.
(Additionally, there are numerous points that provide practical insight beyond tech and social media, such as:
“This is exactly what magicians do. They give people the illusion of free choice while architecting the menu so that they win, no matter what you choose. I can’t emphasize enough how deep this insight is.”)
Getting out of your own way by being available
When looking to make some greater, more meaningful connections in life, along with getting off of social media, it is worth considering just how available you really are.
For many of us, even when we go to a place — such as a meet up, social gathering, or some other event — to make new connections, or deepen existing ones, we still tend to short circuit connection possibilities through our other actions.
This piece on being available from Mindful brings up this point and also offers some simple ways you can become more available for real connections.
Getting out of your own way by getting honest
Just as we can unconsciously sabotage our connection efforts, we often sabotage our other possibilities in life as well.
One way this is frequently done is by listening to the excuses and hidden lies of your inner crab person.
Letting go of these excuses and hidden lies is a big part of rewriting your story to unlock your life.
This article and personal tale of change and growth towards a happier, healthier life illustrates this and is loaded with insights and many opportunities to glean some great wisdom.
Really, you’re never too old
Demonstrating the point above about getting rid of excuses, the article Am I too old to get in shape? from the same site is worth the read whether you’re looking to get in better shape or not.
It covers the important topic of how you’re never too old to make steps on you happier, more fulfilling life journey, which is one I’ve touched on previously before, and want to emphasize since it is such a damaging and insidious excuse.
Learning to get out of your own way is an important part of walking a happier, more fulfilling life journey.
There are numerous ways we become our own obstacles, and our own worst enemies.
Here are some great pieces to help you get out of your own way:
- Why we don’t need to try so hard to be better
- Excellent talk on getting out of your own way
- Is Facebook making us lonely
- Is Facebook making us unhappy too?
- Daily social media use carries significant psychological concerns
- Why we’re addicted to texts and social media
- Former Google design ethicist shares some great information on how designers are hijacking people’s minds
- Are you really available for connection?
- A tale of change and growth towards a happier, healthier life
- Am I too old to get in shape?
Fellow Journeyer @ BigSkyRise
Like I mentioned in the previous curated post, my hope with these curated articles is that by sharing other’s voices a number of things will happen:
- Something will resonate with you in a new way.
- Your overall enjoyment of BigSkyRise will increase since you’ll be hearing from a range of different voices.
- The people who are out there with their own stories, which can benefit others, will get a bit more exposure.
- Over time, it will be easier to see we are all on a very similar journey, facing very similar struggles, and you are not alone.
- …and a few other things as well.
Regardless, I hope you enjoy these, and if you’ve come across — or written — something you feel is worth sharing here, I’m open to suggestions.
Please consider sharing this post so that others can benefit from a wide array of resources to help in living a happier, more fulfilling life.